lunedì 14 agosto 2017

K-Isola 2017 Results

 The human thinking is so primitive that it is considered a contagious disease in some of the best Galaxies. This created several problems, especially while translating Kolon from Kalvokian to your languages.
The lack of tenses keeping into consideration time travel (such as anular progressive future or imperfect retroactive subjunctive) caused your planet to receive a simplified version of the most played game in this side of Laniakea. We trust that the evolution of your species will one day allow you access to the complete rules, stored near the center of your galaxy. There will come a day when there will be a day, but it is not today. In the meantime, we are honored to publish the first terrestrial scoreboard, valid for qualification to the great interstellar tournament held by Aldebaran Pilot Academy, bound to begin in a few terrestrial eons right next to your system. We hope you have not gone extinct by then.

Meanwhile, we greatly thank all human Ship’s Boys, Pilots, and Admirals who participated to the fights during the last local month in Earth orbit. The first six who qualified were rewarded with a visit to our underground base in the Adriatic Sea. Unfortunately, after the guided tour, which was very funny, we had to neuralize those humans (your level of primitive aggressiveness does not allow us to run any risk). So we hope you liked the tour, even though you can keep no memory of it. To you, the greatest and most honorable regards, from us and all sentient species of the Galactic Council. We spur you to keep following us, sharing and spreading our contents. We are trying in every way to make you evolve (not an easy task at all) but we cannot help you if you do not help us help you.

With great joy and immense compassion:
Sigir The Wise,
Betelgeuse 9

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