giovedì 3 novembre 2016

Things that may happen in a spaceport:

My cousin Frank, stopped by spaceport security on Betelgeuse 9 because he was eating a Terrestrial ice cream in front ot a terrorized Glad family.

Ljuk-4B had hidden in his suitcase the infamous jucca tarcan pie of his grandmother Gwendoline before departure, but the luggage was lost on a different flight. Before he was able to get it back, it had travelled so many parsecs at superluminal speed that the pie had long become a fossile.

"Careful with the Gate numbers" my husband's wife had said, and I hadn't considered that on Calidonia they are only written in Calidonian, a complex language in differential geometry.
 That's how you end up on the other side of the Galaxy, on a primitive planet of the Sol system, where the next flight is scheduled not before four local centuries!

NEVER use public toilets in a spaceport after a Flautolulian!

Kalima's docks, it is well known, are among the strangest spaceports, better avoided. The waiting room, for instance, is depressurised, to offend no one. Instead of cabinets in the luggage deposit there are mechano-quantum micro-black holes with great risk of space-time paradoxes. There are no security controls, but the red lights you see in the duty-free shops are gamma ray emitters (as long as you are able to see them, of course). At collection, luggage comes out on the tongue of a Sgulasch (a kind of local translucent elephantine slug), but that's not its mouth.

Dlin Dlon: "In Mandala system spaceports, as in any spaceport of the bellicose Grelum Consortium, as well, there are strict security controls upon arrival, including being dipped in acid at 400 C° or scanned with gamma radiations. We strongly suggest humans not to travel to Greluing systems. Bye, all the best."

Rep. By: Admiral Kroop