giovedì 5 ottobre 2017

K-Rome 2017


It is known that if the bodies of all of the human beings on planet Earth (a little more than 7 billions) were piled in a single place, the pile would be no taller than a kilometer and no larger than 600 meters. Not so much, all things considered, if we think about the ecological damages you have been able to cause to your planet. A similar case in the Galaxy for sure wasn’t the one of the Malutrasemmites of Joomila 6. This ancient – as much as unlucky – race of the Perseus arm had the misfortune to discover the secret of immortality before discovering space travel or any contraception method. Soon they were devouring one another on their hyper-populated planet.

Fortunately you already are moving your first (albeit uncertain and limping) steps outside your already too polluted atmosphere. To help you do that in the most correct way (that is without going prematurely extinct) the Great Galactic Council sent you this sophisticated device for psycho-recreational development, that is KOLON. 
Yes, sure, a boardgame is not much, but it is the best we could do, balancing our hyper-developed technology and your as hyper-developed primitiveness. Unfortunately, the principles of the Friendship program of the Galactic Council forbid us to interfere with primitive races, so we need you to show your interest toward us, otherwise we will be forced to leave this planet to its less-than-rosy future.
You have a wonderful chance to do play live on SATURDAY 14 OCTOBER (terrestrial calendar) in Via di Torrenova, 39a in the city you call ROME, Italy, (a nation in the boreal hemisphere of the planet you call "Earth", the third orbiting the star known as “Sol”, a really insignificant little yellow star in the middle of the Orion arm).
If you want to see KOLON  (the new generation game of the millennium as well as the most widespread game this side of Laniakea)  up close, you are officially invited to ROME, Via di Torrenova 39a, on SATURDAY 14 OCTOBER! We recommend you to sit up straight and always bring your towel along.
If you have any doubt about how to reach us once on the planet,
 you can find more information HERE.

With the best respect and honorable thanks
 from all of the sentient species in the Galactic Council; 
midshipman SIGIR
Vokiok 71
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sabato 26 agosto 2017

K-Isola 2017 Epic Battles


Some time in Orbit battles happens that are worth committing to memory, such as the great battle which took place in Earth orbit (third planet of the star known as “Sun”) the night of the 24th August 2017 (local time). It will be remembered in the Academies of Antares and Betelgeuse as the “earthquake battle” and the name of the winner – the fearsome Admiral “Lady Killer” Greta S. still is one of the most feared in all systems of the Galactic Council (in spite of her being a human). In all civilized systems, rarely there has been a more gruesome battle. Oft times the admirals earned and lost Koins. The last stages were so struggled that every little gain had to be protected with teeth and nails (for those species who have them). I remember it, I was there, I saw everything. 
On our cover there is a depiction of the photo-finish of the game, the epic moment when Admiral “Lady Killer” Greta S., after losing many Koins, earns her last one, finally dominating the Orbit and putting an end to the fight after almost six Devronian months (about two Earth hours) of fire and weapons. The great Admiral Dam “de Monk” Tatuill, who wasn’t involved in the fight but was watching it from the land, said:

“So much obstinacy and stubbornness in a single human I never witnessed, vainly sacrificed was not the life of all those pilots”.


... many people believe that in order to dominate the Orbit you just need the largest fleet or the greatest firepower, but like the best Admiral learned on their own skins, timing and the ability to combine and plan war actions lead Admirals to victory. The disappointment of Admiral Denis the Red” during the “earthquake battle” was great when he saw victory stolen from his slimy tentacles, after building a huge orbital station endowed with exceptional firepower.


This picture shows one of the tensest moment of the game. Admiral Denis “the Red”, in a futile attempt to slow down mining, just detached the largest part of “Lady Killer” Greta’s mining ship from the asteroid with a targeted bombing to its nodes. Richard “the Wonder” seized the moment to mine in turn. Nothing, though, could have stopped “Lady Killer”, who, in the next turn, with a flawless military action, gathered her fleet in the lower orbit and obtained an ultimate and overwhelming victory. 
With astounded, joyous and honorable wishes for a long staying in the cosmos as sentient and unilocated energetic beings,

Ensign Sigir 56
Betelgeuse.
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lunedì 14 agosto 2017

K-Isola 2017 Results


 The human thinking is so primitive that it is considered a contagious disease in some of the best Galaxies. This created several problems, especially while translating Kolon from Kalvokian to your languages.
The lack of tenses keeping into consideration time travel (such as anular progressive future or imperfect retroactive subjunctive) caused your planet to receive a simplified version of the most played game in this side of Laniakea. We trust that the evolution of your species will one day allow you access to the complete rules, stored near the center of your galaxy. There will come a day when there will be a day, but it is not today. In the meantime, we are honored to publish the first terrestrial scoreboard, valid for qualification to the great interstellar tournament held by Aldebaran Pilot Academy, bound to begin in a few terrestrial eons right next to your system. We hope you have not gone extinct by then.


Meanwhile, we greatly thank all human Ship’s Boys, Pilots, and Admirals who participated to the fights during the last local month in Earth orbit. The first six who qualified were rewarded with a visit to our underground base in the Adriatic Sea. Unfortunately, after the guided tour, which was very funny, we had to neuralize those humans (your level of primitive aggressiveness does not allow us to run any risk). So we hope you liked the tour, even though you can keep no memory of it. To you, the greatest and most honorable regards, from us and all sentient species of the Galactic Council. We spur you to keep following us, sharing and spreading our contents. We are trying in every way to make you evolve (not an easy task at all) but we cannot help you if you do not help us help you.

With great joy and immense compassion:
Sigir The Wise,
Betelgeuse 9
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lunedì 3 luglio 2017

KOLONIsola2017

Giunti alla terza edizione della nostra campagna terrestre di raffinamento, adattamento alla specie e sviluppo sui regolamenti avanzati. Diamo inizio al terzo Kolonisola terrestre.
I Mozzi, i signori Ammiragli e Piloti terrestri sono invitati a partecipare al Kolonisola 2017.
Gli scontri avranno inizio giovedì 27 luglio e procederanno in Agosto
Il primo appuntamento importante è venerdì/sabato 28/29 Luglio 2017 Le partite (fine al quadruplo set) saranno valide per il Ranking planetario ufficiale Piloti dell'Accedemia di Betelgeuse. Gli scontri avranno luogo di pomeriggio a S.Pietro frazione di Isola del Gran Sasso, provincia di Teramo, vicino l'ingresso ovest della base adriatica e parteciperanno Amici stranieri. Sarà offerto un apericena ai giocatori con rari arrosticini di gocquak bianco.
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Si raccomanda di presentarsi muniti del proprio asciugamano.
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se sei uno dei pochi fortunati umani ad aver ricevuto un invito come questo ti invitiamo personalmente e la tua partecipazione ci farebbe davvero piacere, segui le istruzioni nella mail.
Per tutti gli altri che avessero intenzione di partecipare e avessero bisogno di dettagli, alloggio, etc. siete pregati di mettervi in contatto subito all'indirizzo:
kolongame@gmail.com
grazie terrestri.
-K.ReK.-
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martedì 16 maggio 2017

Sometimes..

Liuthianians, otherwise called "Liutranians" or "Jatravarts", are a well known sentient specie diffused also in your Sagittariu's Arm. This sympathic and joyfull race is remembered notably for the fact to have invent the spray can before than the wheel
Cit. D.A.
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